What’s the point to cleaning the house if the boys are just going to get it dirty again?

This indeed is an age old question and one I ponder often especially when taking the pain and suffering to clean the house. Why are my boys so dirty? Why are Sofia and I the only clean ones in the house? Good question.

I usually clean the house once a week, but I have noticed the amount of time it takes to clean the house is dramatically shorter than the amount of time it takes Irwin and the boy to mess it up again. This is a confounding situation in which I am left with a couple of choices: A- continue cleaning the house or B- let it be. How do they not notice the beautiful pristine environment I have left for them and how come they cannot keep it is such amazing conditions?

Well for now, this mystery will be left unsolved.

Before:

After:

Sofia’s latest oddities

Oh, hello there!

Sofia’s got issues.  I will be the first to admit this. She needs a therapist. Her random shakes, over reactions, and bed wetting just scream THERAPY. On top of all that, she has taken to hiding over the bed. Why? Who knows. What does she have to be worried or stressed about? You tell me. Anyhow, she hides under the bed and loves to make a big show about it.

To be honest, I kinda like this new arrangement because will her under the bed there is more room on top and Irwin can freely come and go as he pleases without having to be verbal assaulted by Sofia every time he jumps on the bed. Sofia seems pretty happy under the bed farting and snorting as she pleases. She can even pretend to be a little monster by growling at the feet that past her by (although it’s really only the boyfriend she growls at, not me).

Unfortunately, she never seems to stay under there for very long. She usually goes into her under the bed lair right before we all go to bed. Then once the lights are out, she seems to wait 5 or 10 minutes before she resurfaces from her personal pit of hell onto the bed.  Maybe she thinks she is being clever and totally surprising us by magically appearing on top of the bed. However, Sofia is not exactly the master of craftiness and slyness, especially since she likes to step on everyone as if they are just another piece of furniture. Whether Sofia’s reasons are, one thing is crystal clear: Sofia is special.

Sofia is the master of hiding.

Late VD Post

I assume you all know about my undying love for pigeons, so for Valentine's day I think it is only appropriate to share some awesome pigeon facts.

They mate for live! Ahaaaa!!! How sweet and romantic!  Also, pigeons can mate about 8 times a year!  Whoa, there bunnies! Slow that there baby making machine.  No wonder every time I ride the train I am comforted by the sound of sweet pigeon love making!  Get a room you crazy love birds!

So there you have it all you VD fans.  Pigeons not only are paragons of fidelity, but they have an A.MAZ.ING sex life as well.  I hereby nominate the pigeon for the animal symbol of all this love related.You go Bird!

Irwin's famous y'all!

Check this out:

http://fuckyeahfatcat.tumblr.com/post/3324097865/irwinpeppermint

Haters are going to hate

A while ago I came across a blog from a fellow Anti-Cruelty Alumni named Puma.  Puma is a lovely chow and Golden Retriever mix.  All that well and good, but I'm not going to lie, http://www.tailoreddog.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=3&Itemid=45 sucks ass.  WTF is a big dog advocate?  Answer me, damn it!  Because clearly there needs to be some sort of movement to empower all the big dogs of the world...Really?  Last time I checked, big dogs are doing fine.  Only dog haters hate them.  They need no advocates.  On top of that, we all know Puma's not actually writing the blog.  She is a dog.  She does not care about pet custody, she does not care about meeting Jay Leno.  She also probably does not care for being dressed up in those ridiculous outfits.  What the hell is this:

Sure she's a pretty model but, I am sure if she knew how to feel embarrassed, she would.  Not only that, but this disaster costs $57.00!!!!!! For shame!While, I am in agreement with Puma on her campaign to end animal nudity, I would rather have them showing what god gave them rather than wear that crap labeled as "clothes".
Ok, some of you may be thinking, "she's just jealous that Puma's has a clothing line, website, and is a regular guest on NBC, while Sofia and Irwin remain in obscurity."  This is some what true, I do think that Sofia and Irwin deserve all of the above.  However, I am also looking at the bigger picture.  Which is, those clothes and that blog is STUPID.  STOP TRYING TO TAKE THE PLACE OF THE GREATEST ANIMAL BLOG THERE IS, WHICH OF COURSE IS THIS ONE.  TAKE YOUR UGLY CLOTHES AND PEE ON THEM.  Puma's mom should be ashamed of herself.  I know I am.

Now here are some pictures of Irwin and Sofia to help ease your mental puke-ness from the picture above:

Now, here is Sofia in something practical.

Irwin's Model Shoot

He's such a foxy kitty.

Irwin's sexy pose

Look at those eyes...Purrrrrrr

His shy and sensitive look

Doing what he does best

For the record

I thought everyone should know that the boyfriend openly declared his love for Sofia.  True Story.  I did not hack into his gchat account and have this conversion with myself only so I could post this on my website.  I mean, really would I stoop so low?  No, of course not.  I keep it KLASSY y'all. Here is the evidence that I in no way doctored:

11:53 PM me: hey sexy

11:54 PM what the fuck asshole! why arent you answering back?

11:55 PM Boyfriend: i love you baby. im so sorry im a asshole. you are the most beautiful women in the world. i will worship your feet.

  i love sofia too

  she is a great dog